Reason Why I’m Single #86 – That Girl In Class Everyone Hates
It’s not that she’s a bad person, she certainly doesn’t seem the type to kick kittens, rather she’s the one with kittens on her folders…in college. She’s the first to turn around and join a conversation across the room, she’s the first to raise her hand, she’s the first to send out a mass email just to let everyone know she’s already done the review. And sometimes, I just want to screech my nails on the chalkboard to drown out her nasal voice as she informs us that she has taken the liberty of fact-checking something my professor said offhandedly last class.
In my History of Journalism class though there’s one girl who goes above and beyond, who sort of makes me want to just get up and leave class. Look, I’m not awful or anything, I’m not tearing someone down for being good at school, I am however, tearing someone down for thinking they are better at school than everyone else. And your Fran-Drescher-voice is not helping the matter. Sorry. It just isn’t.
This girl, she’s really a piece of work. Let me indulge you in what I get to wake up for every Tuesday and Thursday. First of all, she’s addicted to saying, “Ya know?” No really. Addicted. She says it every three to five words and sometimes I just want to shake her and say, “NO, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, I DON’T KNOW!” Now it’s not that it’s annoying that she says “Ya know?” because I’ve dealt with similar situations (like the girl in my reporting class last semester who said “whatnot” like it was the new “uh”) it’s more the fact that she talks so much in class, strike one and then chooses to say, “ya know?” like a million times in attempt to explain her stance on whatever-it-is-we’re-talking-about because I’ve already tuned out the entire class just to make sure I’ve tuned her out. It’s like, if you insist on talking so much during class, at least, for the sake of those being forced to listen, speak eloquently and preferably with conveying insight, which of course That Girl In Class Everyone Hates thinks she is full of (insight, that is), while everyone around her rolls their eyes back into their eye sockets, wondering why she’s still talking…about nothing!
Another super fun tendency of That Girl In Class Everyone Hates?
She raises her hand and speaks immediately after. She doesn’t wait to be called on. I don’t think she understands the whole raising hands system because the way she seems to interpret it is that by simply raising a hand, you get to speak immediately and over anyone else currently talking. Of course she doesn’t wait to be called upon the professor, maybe it’s because deep down the she knows the professor hates hearing the question they just posed the class with shot back at her in a format that makes absolutely no sense.
By the end of my class, I’m genuinely exhausted with trying to ignore the girl in class. I couldn’t be looking forward to my glass of wine at the end of the day anymore.
And when I finally get to it, sinking into my couch at home, Sex and the City on, I get an email and as I am finally relaxed and completely unsuspecting – there it is.
“HEY GUYSSSS!!! This is THAT GIRL IN CLASS EVERYONE HATES, how’s the review coming along for ya’ll? Mines JUST dandy and whatdoyaknow, it’s DONEEEE, yay!!! Just in time for the weekend, who wants to swap reviews even though it’s not due for another three weeks, early bird gets the A! Just email me or better yet, FACEBOOK ME at THAT GIRL IN CLASS EVERYONE HATES! Tee hee, have a SPLENDID day!!!!!!!!!”
I am so not Facebooking her.