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Touché Motherfucker, Touché

April 11, 2011

See how I love embarrassing myself for the sake of this blog?

As I lay in bed listening to “Girlfriend” by N’sync, I cant help but remember middle school even though I’m pretty sure N’Sync was more like 5th grade. People really don’t believe me when I say this but I used to be a little hoodrat (Don’t believe me? Check out my “Cliques Pic” to the right. Talk about EMBARRASSING.) I know right? Shocking because I’m such a vision of grace and class right now? Hah. Okay, while I may be far from adorably charming, I’m proud to say it’s been almost 10 years since I got in a fight with another girl because I didn’t like her cousin. And though my policy for fighting has always been a strict and swift kick to the privates and run like hell, I am proud to say I did walk, well run, away clutching one hoop earring the size of her head happily in my hand. I’ll always believe that fights are best served up through words though at the time I couldn’t think of the right thing to say. Oh but if the me in middle school had been the me now, it would’ve been awesome.

There’s a story I’d been meaning to share on this blog and I never really remembered until sometime last week when I found myself racking my brain through my dating history, mostly just wondering what the hell was wrong with me but also wondering which of those people were worth Facebook stalking, turns out the only one from middle school worth stalking is conveniently the subject of the story I’d always wanted to share. And you know what? As bitchy as it sounds, I was pleasantly unimpressed with his Facebook page.

So in 8th grade, I dated this guy Venny. God, I thought he was everything. I saved our AIM conversations, I wrote about him in my LiveJournal and we hung out at school even though our friends hated each other. I had somehow convinced myself I was going to marry this kid and the worst part is that I actually believed it. The best part though is that, we felt all of this and never once kissed. God, I loved middle school. So blissfully uncomplicated. We left for the summer and stayed in touch, mostly through email, and during our freshman year of high school we started talking again. He wanted to get together and I told him it was too complicated, that I was seeing someone else (a guy whose name I cant even remember now) and so we stopped talking. Senior year of high school rolls around and in a particularly nostalgic mood one night, I reached out to him again. We started hanging out again and things were like middle school again, clicking over things I wish I could remember now. I caught myself thinking, “Wow, maybe this is it, maybe it was just weird timing and maybe we get to be one of those great stories about how we knew each other as kids and somehow worked it out as adults.” That is, until it ended. Our reconnection was short lived to say the least.

One day I called Venny to hang out with him and he texted me back that he didn’t want to hang out again. I asked him what happened and he basically told me that he came back only to leave so that he could get back at me for leaving him his freshman year.

Needless to say, I was stunned. I stood there for a minute, baffled then pissed. And approximately two minutes later, I couldn’t help but smile and think to myself, “Touché motherfucker, touché.”

Maybe it was that moment when I kind of knew I’d come into my own as a member of the dating world, when I couldn’t even be pissed at someone who set out to intentionally hurt me, because I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Damn, well played sir.”

And even though I could’ve been hurt and bummed out over the situation and grabbed a box of chocolates only to start throwing them at my TV screen as it runs The Notebook on loop, I laughed and brushed it off and you know what? The way I see it, with all these fucked up individuals just roaming around out there, myself included, this shit is bound to happen at some point, it’s in my past and it’s probably going to be in my future, so you can’t take it too seriously. At the end of the day, I was flattered thinking to myself, “Dammnnn, you cared that much and for that long to come back almost four years later and leave me?” Maybe that’s a little twisted, but that’s just me. Hell, maybe it’s totally wrong too, but to this day I still can’t help but smile when I think about it. And those are the kinds of things that make up this single life and as much as they can hurt, they don’t have to. They could just be a good story instead. (Those Cliques pics on the other hand, will never be okay…)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 11, 2011 1:49 am

    I’m pretty sure the only N’SYNC song that I still remember is Bye Bye Bye. I’m not sure if I am happy or sad about that.

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