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Reason Why I’m Single #130 – Reasonably Unreasonable

May 11, 2012

Is it really so much to ask that I find a future job listing that includes but is not limited to the following description:

  1. Having the rap from Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” memorized, including the British accent (sidebar: I’m not sure you can legally call my  British accent an actual British accent, because unlike the rest of the world, it seems I picked up my knowledge of the British accent from Chicken Run, though I should warn you that the fact that my British accent is terrible and borderline offensive does not seem to stop me from continuing to speak with one.)
  2. The ability to send incredibly witty and clever text messages without the use of emoticons (unless of course, when used ironically).
  3. A deep and intense love for all National Treasure movies and a subsequent love for Nicolas Cage. (And yes, I’ve heard of Ghostrider, but I stand by my man and his creepy haircut.)

Or are these qualities just not valued as much as they once were?

(Perhaps by a society that only exists in my mind…)

I guess there will just always be a part of me that is unreasonable, like the irritation I feel when I see another girl with the same iPhone case as me, despite the fact that I’m aware that the case is a result of mass production, is sold pretty much everywhere, and does not make me an individual despite having convinced myself it would upon the act of purchasing it. It’s sort of like when girls with semi-unusual names get upset when they meet someone with the same name (Like when a Stella meets another Stella), except that since I’m a girl with an an actually unusual name, when I meet someone with the same name as me, I’m like, “See guys! I told you my name was like ‘the Ashley of India!'” Unreasonable, like the fact that I sometimes find myself physically incapable of waiting for my three-minute ramen noodles to fully cook, as I prematurely drain, mix in practically illegal amounts of sodium, and eat the half-cooked noodles that make me hate myself with each crunch. Unreasonable, like the amount of time I spent in the shower singing Glee versions of songs I didn’t know existed until I saw them on Glee. Unreasonable, like when I see a pie, there’s this inherent urge inside of me that wants to smash it into someone’s face. Unreasonable, like creating an elaborate and color-coded flowchart when faced with a relationship problem you’re not sure you can figure out with mere thoughts that seem to confuse you more when they only live in the confines of your mind—a mind, that somehow finds reason in completely unreasonable things.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 12, 2012 12:51 am

    Love it! We all want to feel unique in such a mass produced world.
    Oh and do you feel like sharing your colour coded relationship issue flow chart… I could use it right now.

    • May 13, 2012 10:21 pm

      Haha, I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet!! But no doubt, if I ever cease contact with the guy, that flow chart is going up there haha!

  2. Alyssa permalink
    April 14, 2014 9:52 pm

    Chicken Run?!! yup you really are the best

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